Just the beginning

Like I had mentioned above hitting 40 was the start of my mid life crisis, but I wasn't to bad for the first 5 months and then came the deaths of 2 of my friends, both people I had known since I was about 9 years old, people I had built snowforts with, roller skated with, watched them breakdance back in the day....lol. I watched them grow, get married and have children.

Both of my friends passed on at age 40 and 41, when I was at R's funeral it hit me really hard, as I stood over him and asked why, I took a look at my own life and where I was and what I have done, and I realized I have really done nothing with my life.

So let the change begin.....................

First order of business was to lose weight, I had started the process before I hit forty but I had not bought new clothes or anything till spring of 2011, I had not realized that 70pounds was alot of dropped sizes and when I started trying on clothes that fit me, I stood back and thought...Damn I look good........I need to go out

Second order of business was getting out, yes I am married, my husband for the last 2 or 3 years has decided that being in bed by 8 pm even on weekends was what he wanted out of his life, he had become angry with everyone and everything around him. I no longer was going to live that life. So I started going out with friends and having a good time. I always behaved myself......till

August 2011 ...another good friend that I had not seen in many many years contacted me and said him and his wife were coming to the area and could I get the old gang together and we could all go out.....I was so excited, we would be down 2 but we were going to celebrate them that night. Included in this motely crue of old friends was the one man that I could not get over, he was my first love, first sexual partner, my prom date. I have spent 22 years thinking about him, we would see each other at some events but just a hi, how are you....well this night we were going to be hanging out.

I contacted, we will call him C, and asked if he could come up with a good place for the gang to meet. He picked the place and time. When the day came I met him at the bar he choose and him and I had an hour to ourselves before everyone else showed up. It was weird but we talked a little......I had mentioned that things at home were not all rainbows and butterflies, and he told me he was single and never got married..........hmmmmm!!!

Again I behaved myself that night, but C and I spent the next month texting each other, until I broke down and asked if I could see him........and he agreed!

So thats where it all began.......I will fill you in on my next blog